WOW...Flying with 2 under 2 is not fun..I mean REALLY NOT FUN!!!

Well, We Made It!!!

That sums up our adventure to WI.

The flight out was really out of this world...but let me first start by saying, in the scheme of things, my kids were good as gold and really could not have done better. We were not "That Family" on the plane (thank goodness) although we did sit across the row from "That Child" Holy Cats that little girl had lungs and a squeal to match!

It really was more that I felt bad for our kids. They really have this nice, safe, structured life that we happily live and a plane ride just really screws that up. Feeding was a joke, naps were almost non-existent and ants in the pants got the best of Ryan near the end.

Then we still had a 2 hour drive to Shiocton from Milwaukee!!! Did I ever mention how much Elise hates riding in the car? Well she HATES it!!! Again, I took Mike on a tour of the ghetto-don't ask how I know ever ghetto in every major city I have visited. I am pretty sure my husband would be happy if I would skip that part of the trip!! But I always get us there in one piece :0)

Mom and Dad were so happy to see us and Ryan was thrilled to see them. I know they like it when he still remembers them. My sister's and their kids are doing great as well. I can't believe how much they grow. Wyatt is looking more like a pre-teen than a little boy...I just can't imagine Ryan being that big, but soon he will be.

While we were there we went to the Fireman's Parade and Ryan got to see a bunch of trucks and he also got a carton of chocolate milk and some cheese. This was his first time with chocolate milk and he liked it well enough, but luckily he likes his plain old white stuff better!!

Elise was also baptized while we were there. She looked beautiful in her little white gown with her flower in her hair, wearing her "first diamonds" from Grandma Mertel. She won't be spoiled or anything (eyes rolling)!!

It was honestly just nice to be able to visit with everyone and just relax for a bit. Reality was just around the corner, so I enjoyed every bit of help from everyone while I had it!

The plane ride back was actually not awful! The kids were so pooped that they both slept for about 2 hours at the same time, so daddy and mommy took advantage and napped too. Although mommy got the shortest nap. Everyone commented on how cute our kids were and how good they were on the plane. Of course I was beaming with pride because they were both really good and of course they are the most beautiful kids EVER!! (every mom thinks that of her kids :0) )

We got home and I was never so happy to see home. There is just something about being in your own place with your own stuff. It just smelled like home when we walked through the door.

I still have a lot of work to do to unpack and straighten the house. It will take a few days I am sure, but I am doing it with a smile on my face. I got the break I needed to put me back into my correct mommy pants (instead of the impatient ones I had been wearing)

Did I mention how much I love being home :)

Ryan Cleaning as usual

Josie and Elise

Elise and Wyatt

Ryan Loving Elise

My Cute Family

Last day of swim lessons...good thing? Let's discuss

Well, the big finally was today. After two wonderful weeks of getting into the pool at 10:00am with the average temp. outside being around...oh I don't know 58 degrees...Swim Lessons have come to an end.

I am trying to decide how I feel about this. It was cold, it was chaotic getting things ready before and after, Ryan really just clung to me to keep the hypothermia at bay (except for that one day when it was freakin' awesome out), and it was hard lining up childminders for Elise for two weeks in a row.

In the end though, I decided it was the best idea I had had in a long time. The alone time Ryan and I had for those 8 days was something we both needed. For awhile Ryan has needed to look to other people a lot for some of the attention he would normally get from me if I did not have a tiny baby to look after. We have reconnected and I again have moved to the center of everything good in his world.

This does come with a tiny downside...Separation Anxiety!! And boy does he get it bad now!! That has been the challenge because now I have to come up with a new way to get Elise down to her room and put her to sleep. Ryan can't be away from me for that long anymore, and that is a total bummer!!! But, we are even coming around on that...there always seems to be a way to work things out I have found. Good thing I am such a meticulous planner-my life would not even be possible if I wasn't blessed with a brain that goes through all possible outcomes of a situation in 2.2 seconds. I always found it to be a hassle and a mostly useless talent....until I had kids!!! Now I pray to God and thank him daily for the blessing he gave to me :0)


Little McPretty is not up to much. She sleeps awesome, she eats awesome, she rolls awesome, she plays happily awesome (??? I just think she is awesome), pretty much she is an Angel baby with a touch of touchiness and a hint of spirited...pretty much a perfect mix in my book!!

She has such a personality. Her happiness is contagious, her smile infectious (that dimple gets you every time), and those eyes...what can you say, they are sooo engaging it is hard to look away!! Pretty much, she is everything a mom could want in a daughter.

I have even been doing a little gardening. I do it at 830 or 900 at night, but I can still see the weeds and the flowers don't mind being planted at that time either.

Life is good to me and I am thankful for every day I am given...I have found my little bit of heaven on earth!!!

Oh My God, How Did I Make It From 5-720pm??

So this is how my day went from 5pm-720pm. Let me tell you folks it was not pretty!! But, we made it through and I am a stronger woman for it! Bring on the booze...




Ryan turned 17 mo today and I am not sure if it is that, or the fact that we have been doing swim lessons for the last week and 2 days, but he has suddenly got the worst case of separation anxiety he has had in his entire short life!!!

I honestly am not quite sure how I am going to proceed with my days.

Elise is in the basement, which is where her room is now permanently. To put her down I used to let Ryan just play around the house, it is totally baby proofed and I really had no better option. Well, he started climbing so I had been coordinating his meals with nap put down times and for her cat nap I would have him sit in highchair and color or have a snack.

Today I tell him mommy has to take the baby to go to sleep it's time to color in your chair. I meet a little resistance, but I sometimes do. Normally he will just get it and play colors. Not today.

Of course Elise was fighting her nap-middle of an awake time change and I don't have it right yet-so I end up having to be down there for like 10-15min. That is the max I will spend with her leaving Ryan. I go to the steps and I hear him wailing. He has a good fake wail, but this was different.
So I pick up Elise we go upstairs and he is in FULL meltdown in his highchair. Now the baby is crying too because he is crying and she is not in bed. I pick him up out of his highchair (I have one babe in each arm) we go downstairs where we do have a tv and I tell him he has to watch Barney while mom puts baby to sleep.

We get to the tv everything is fine. I am sitting with the baby trying to get her close to sleep (she is touchy and will sleep no where but her pitch black room, but I am hopeful of a miracle of some sort to get me through this) I stand up (because Elise can't stand to be held while sitting ) Ryan starts to whine..."It's ok mom is here" Barney starts full swing and he is into it.
Elise looks like she might be ready to sleep so I slowly walk the hall to her room...nothing from Ryan.

I go into her room and I start to hear tears...the door to Elise's room in closed and I hear Ryan losing it. I open the door and he looks like he is lost in the middle of the world and no one will ever find him...breaks my heart!!!

I pick him up (both babes in my arms) and they are both crying again. I try to rock them in the dark. Ryan calms, Elise gets worked up. I try laying a pilloow on the floor for Ryan so I can settle Elise...not having it..

By this time about 15 min has passed and I have to abort mission...no one is falling asleep or settling down like this!!!

Upstairs and everyone is going for a walk...miracle of miracles...Elise at some point falls asleep. Maybe only for 10min, but I know for sure 10min because the first time I noticed she was asleep and by the 4th time I check on her (when she wakes) she has been asleep.

This is how the rest shakes out...

Ryan in Highchair with his dinner....Elise nurses....I run the bath for Elise in our bedroom where we have a tv...give Ryan a cup of milk and turn on Thomas The Tank Engine...give Elise her bath...get her out...put Ryan in...wash Ryan up...get him out...Elise is just talking to herself and sucking her fingers...put on Ry's PJ's....say goodnight to sister...pop him in bed with his fans and noises and ALL of his paci's...finish getting Elise ready for bed...she is starting to fuss, so I hurry because I do not want Ryan to get upset (he is already just about to sleep)...Elise starts crying more...Ryan starts a little fuss...I run her down the stairs...listen to see if Ryan settles (he does)...swaddle Elise and do a little Accidental Parenting On Purpose, we nurse to sleep.....And Do I Feel Bad About It...HELL NO!!!!!!!

I made it!!!!

Both are currently asleep and all systems are a go for it to stay that way....How I ever get through some days is totally beyond me!!

It is my hope that you will never have this lovely experience.

We Are On The Roll!!

My little sprite of a girl is just a wild woman!!

She has been rolling tummy to back for awhile now, but yesterday she also started back to tummy rolling!

This is shocking to me because I think I remember Ryan not really rolling until he was like 7 months old.

My guess is it doesn't take much to roll her pixie sized body over whereas my beefy little man had to get enough muscle to get his chubby little tush over.

It is just adorable to see her little feet kicking around and then whoop over she is!! CRAZY!!! Who knows what she will be up to next!

I also have learned how muffin top happens:
I used to see it all the time and thought to myself, how can that happen, isn't it uncomfortable? Well, I now know just how it happens...hips smaller than the leftover skin from having a baby!! (at least that is my excuse) Tried on a skirt from prebaby days yesterday. Went on over legs and hips no problem, tough to zip, but I got it zipped-then-skin flopping over the top!! WTH...no one told me this was how it would look!! Good news is I am still on the way down and things are moving back in the right direction. I'll just be happy when putting on clothes doesn't make me want to break down in tears anymore!!

Swimming Lessons HOORAY!!!!!

After an exciting weekend of visitors, we started our week off by getting into a pool at 1000am!!

Ryan and I are taking a Aqua Tots swim class and it is pretty cool. It's the first thing Ryan and I have gotten to do just the two of us in a very long time.

Ryan LOVES his bath almost more than any other part of the day so I was excited and also nervous for us. I really wanted him to like it, but a pool is very different than a bathtub. We started slow. I walked in and it was a heated salt water pool, so that was a plus. But right away Ryan was not super thrilled with the idea of nothing below him.

So back to the step we went. I just left Ry sitting on my lap until he got a little more time to watch the other kids play. I slowly dropped down a step so he was more in the water. Then we just started walking toward the other kids. It was a slow go, but he was not crying so I thought bonus! We sang songs and mostly I just held him in front of me telling him "Mommy is here, it will be ok. I'm not leaving you"

He was getting more ok with it, and then...the buckets came out!!!! Ryan was the hit from that point on!! You see, dumping water on his head is his specialty!! From that point on he splashed and let me float him and he even jumped to me in the water!! Remember this is day 1 of an 8 day session.

I think he had a good time and will be super excited when he sees the pool tomorrow.

Little Miss Elise got to stay home with Grandma Mertel...who she promptly charmed into taking her out of her crib to play...that little girl will be dangerous in the future!!


In other big news...Ryan got his first molar to pop through yesterday!! The bottom one will be soon to follow...his poor gums are so swollen. But he is handling it like a champ.


I have decided to hone in my grilling skills. On Friday, we had our neighbors over for ribs that I slow cooked over indirect heat for 4 hours. Saturday date night (on the deck) was cedar planked salmon, and yesterday we had friends over for some tri-tip. All in all I am becoming quite the outdoor chef.

Busy weekend and now a busy week...before I know it my babes will be 10 years old!!!

It's Been Awhile Eh?

Hi all-
We have been fighting the good fight here and I seem to be winning!!!

Honestly, all is good here-relative to some I am sure, but in my eyes things are great!!

Since my last post I have had some ups and some downs, but I can say mostly ups.

Ryan is now officially on just one big boy nap a day from 12-3 (+ or - a little) He is still a picky eater, but today he ate fresh blueberries instead of frozen!!! To some of you you may think "Big Deal" well, her it is a HUGE deal. Ryan eating anything that is not totally soft or totally crispy is VERY noteworthy at our house!

Ryan also got a new-to-us slide and climbing wall that he absolutely loves. It is crazy to see my little man scale a rock wall that would make seasoned rock climbers jealous! Yesterday he had only two palms and one big toe holding him onto the side of the wall and he was totally sideways! I have seen the move done before a few times on the covers of climbing magazines-can't believe my 16 month old can do it!! (Yep, I'm proud of my crazy kid!!)
He also shares better than most kids his age, especially with his sister. She is the apple of his eye no doubt!!

Elise, where do I start-my little bean amazes me everyday. She has come through all of this physical yuckiness with a smile on her face that will have anyone wrapped around her little elegant finger.
We are still battling reflux, but we seem to have a handle on it right now with meds and her sleeping wedge.
We also have discovered through a long journey that she is also Milk Protein Intolerant (MPI). What does this mean you might ask? Most importantly, I can ingest NO dairy!! NONE!! That means milk, yogurt, cheese, sour cream, basically all the good things in life that make up 80% of my diet!!

How did this start? Well, waaaaay back (about two months ago-you know forever ago!!) I had my suspicions, but my Dr. assured me it was pretty uncommon and I could cut out dairy, but it would probably not make that much of a difference. So I thought-not much of a difference, then screw it I'm not ditchin' my dairy.
Here we are two months later and I am kicking myself for not just doing it sooner!!

How did I figure it out you may ask...
She had been showing slight symptoms, crying during feeds, popping on and off my breast while eating, and getting really phlegmy fter I drank milk. She would also sneeze and have white boogs in her nose that looked like milk.

She also had other symptoms I did not know about until now- constipation, dark circles under her eyes and so also got a few patches of eczema type dry skin on her elbows. She also was having trouble staying asleep which I attributed to the reflux, but was more likely linked to the MPI.

So I have now been dairy free for 5 days and it has been a miracle!! We went from having two poos last month (Yep MONTH) to three in the last two days!! (I am beginning to think this was not such a bad thing this constipation) She is so much more comfortable!! (and her gas is not horrific anymore either) Her poo today was even the normal breast milk poo that smells like buttermilk and has the seedy bits in it-Oh yah Boob Juice makers, you know what I am talking about ;0)
My life revolves around poo, I never really knew it would hmmmm...

So further, not only can I not have dairy, that freezer full of boob juice I have is worth squat!!! It is all tainted with dairy products so I can't even use it to mix her rice cereal with!!

Speaking of rice cereal...Elise loves it!!! She plain old loves to eat! It is so cute, each time I go to give her a bite she opens her moth and says "MMMMM" it is crazy!! She is on the young side to have solids...6 months is the norm, but at her 4 month Dr. appointment, her Dr. thought it would be a good idea to maybe help her poo (dropping dairy did that but she did not mention that hmmmm)
So far she eats rice cereal in the morning and rice cereal and apples at dinner.

I still have her on reflux meds as she still spits up and it stops the acid from being there, so when she does spit up it doesn't burn and hurt her.

My little bean is also quite the sleeper now. Even before everything was squared away, she was pretty good, but now....awesome! She takes two 2hour naps a day (give or take a half hour) and one 45 min. catnap around 5 or 530. She eats, has her bath and goes to sleep and sleeps most nights for 12 hours (give or take a half hour) About once a week she might cry for a night feed, but true to her day feeds, she takes no longer than 10 min to finish-not bad, only about 20 min awake time for me. I can handle that!

Other than that...I have entered the land of the living again!!
Never I am I so happy to have the return of a menstrual cycle as I am the first time after a baby is born!! WOO HOO-hello hormones, I missed you!!
The fog lifts, my mood lifts, everything is bright and sunny again
Husband loves it too, I'm a lot less grouchy. Also, the baby weight is starting to come off again. I am down to 138# and I have not gone over 140# in over 6 days. That is how I measure progress-if I go 5 or more days without going over my most recent high.
That means I am 12# away from my pre-Ryan weight and less than 20# from my goal weight. I was carrying a few extra because of the honeymoon-THE HONEYMOON!! That was like forever and a day ago!!

Well, I should clean my kitchen and do a few things before a baby wakes up

Thanks all for your love and support

I'm Ready To Talk About It

It has taken me a week, but I am finally ready to talk about the worst day of my adult life.

Last Thursday was by far the worst day of my life! Poor Miss Elise has been battling reflux and really bad gas. She also has the privilege of having colic too! And Yes reflux is different than colic. What that means is she cries A LOT!!! On a normal day we would have crying from 4pm-10pm with a few 10-15 min breaks. She also will cry throughout the day for really what seems to be no reason. I just change her diaper, feed her, try to get some gas passed and then just hold on until the crying stops. I can handle that. It sucks a lot, but I can deal with it. Very different from big brother Ryan who never cried! Elise is making up for both of them. Everyone warned me this would happen and silly me thought "No way-both my babies will be angels"--let me first say Elise is an Angel and very content when she is not crying-she just is crying 90% of the time (at least it seems that much)

So last Thursday started pretty normal. Both kids up, ate breakfast, and played. Ryan went down for nap (Elise was fussy but not bad) I was rocking little Miss Pretty (as I call her) and had a great conversation with my sister in law Erin. I hung up and was thinking it was time for Miss Pretty to nap and that is pretty much were everything went to HELL!!
Elise started to cry-no big shock, but then she continued. She started at 11am and did not stop until 10pm--yes you read right nine hours of non-stop crying!! I shouldn't say that. I think I had her settled and almost asleep three times were she was quiet maybe for 5-10 min.

Now this was not just crying that is normal--this was turn your face red shrieking kind of crying. I tried everything, gas drops, gripe water, walking, sitting, rocking, feeding, patting, bouncing, shhhh-ing, white noise, loud music, EVERYTHING!!! But alas Little Miss Pretty was having none of it. She just cried and cried.

Now at this point you might be asking, "Did you call the DR.?" and the answer is No, I could not even get my head straight enough to think of doing that. You may also be asking "Did you call anyone for help?" Again the answer is No--honestly did not even cross my mind!! You will probably also ask "What was Ryan doing?" He is so amazing, he just went about his day playing, getting into things, eating, and napping. He would try to come and kiss the baby and pat her like he always does but that is it!! It was like we were having a perfectly normal day! He makes life just a little easier, not just by being good, but also just by how happy he is. He makes my heart sing :)

Now not only was this going on, but I also had a little bit of stomach distress going on. This meant that I was frequently holding the baby while having a bit of the Cha-Cha-Cha, which I know seems crazy, but when I set her down she screamed like she was going to explode, so what else could I do?!?

So here is were it gets to be really bad: In retrospect this is all my fault :(
Ryan used to like to be pat pretty solidly to get himself settled down. He also liked his paci. So I tried patting and bouncing like I did Ryan-which I will say was pretty aggressive, but it always made Ryan feel better. I was doing all of these things and now in retrospect realize was keeping her awake. So basically I forced my 5 week old daughter to stay awake for nine straight hours! I am shocked CPS isn't at my door!!
I have now learned my little delicate flower just likes her back rubbed gently with the slightest pat pat here and there to relieve her gas...and it works!! My little flower also does not like the paci or anything else put in her mouth that she does not want. She will scream if you try to give her the breast when she is not ready for it!!
I also was trying to feed her because I thought she might not be getting enough milk. This is where I again went wrong. I was giving her the breast about every hour to hour and a half. What I really was doing was making it so her little digestive system had to work overtime to try and get out all the food I was giving her. I also have a very aggressive letdown, which means that she has to gulp the milk to keep up with it. This then gives her more gas!! So basically I was making her reflux waaaay worse than it had to be. This is where I hate breastfeeding. You never really know how much they are getting, and when you have a little one who cries about everything, you never know if it is because they are hungry or not. But...I digress

So, to recap I overfed, over bounced, over patted, and did just about everything I could do to make my little girl miserable for an entire day

I now have learned she likes to eat about every three hours, she likes to be in a baby carrier the entire day-including her naps, so I am pretty much attached to her from the time she wakes up until the time she gets her bath. I have also learned she IS a delicate little flower who has to be handled very gently.

I also no longer drink coffee or eat/drink anything acidic and I also am trying to cut all milk/milk products from my diet. This includes any food made with milk in it. This is to rule out MPI (milk protein intolerance) Bacon and eggs, here I come!!!

Well, wish me luck and say a prayer for me. A friend said to me every day will get microscopically better, until one day it won't seem so bad.